I know this might come as a shock to the reader, but there’s really no way around it – I’m a dead man. Well, not “dead” in the traditional “stopped moving and started rotting” sense, because it would be difficult for me to be writing this if that were the case; it’s really hard to see what you’re typing in a coffin. No, I was dead in a really big misunderstanding kind of way. And it wasn’t even my fault.
Unfortunately, my good name is on the line. I’m a fine, upstanding citizen. Yet, through a series of one-in-a-million coincidences and fantastic misunderstandings, my entire county thinks otherwise. I need to relay my side of the story, the gospel truth, to anyone who will listen. Everything I say in these pages happened exactly the way I’ve described it; the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help me Elvis.
I’m not the kind of person who pads his experiences to make a better story. I’m all about the truth of the matter. And the truth of the matter is that I’m just an innocent man trying to live his own life. But you’ve got eyes. (Unless you’re a pirate with dual eye patches and you’re reading this in brail.) I’ll let you examine the facts and make your own decision…
Chapter 1 coming soon!