Sunday, September 5, 2010
Perfectly Pointless Poems #2
grew over them.
Ode to Birtha
Oh Birtha, because of you my life is so great.
From your huge belly, to your lizard like skin,
to your stinky feet, and your red eyes filled with hate,
I love to watch you at breakfast, drinking your gin.
Your teeth are sharp, dirty, and such a nice shade of green,
Your hair is his like a beautiful bird’s nest, (it’s made of straw.)
I love the way your neon green shirts always smell like gasoline.
I’m so happy to have you, we walk hand in claw.
I adore the way you hit me when I’m not home on time,
and the way your face is wrinkly, plump and dark yellow.
I’m enchanted by the way you walk, (leaving a trail of slime)
Thank you Birtha, for you’ve made me so joyous and mellow.
And I look towards the sky as I hold my lovely cow,
And I say to God, “Who am I kidding!? Kill me now!”
Kill your Father!
Kill your Mother!
Kill your Brother!
And drink his blood!!
Squash a frog!
And eat your dog!!
Steal a bum's only rags!
Don't wear deodorant on your date!
Grandma is your punchin’ bag!
Return rental movies... late!!